Moving through procrastination
So here I am, back at square one and I need to get stuff done! Where do I begin?
Don’t over complicate things just do. Those that don’t self judge all the time get much more done. They don’t overthink things, they do things.
They may not always in their best alignment but that is your challenge, to do and to be in alignment at the same time.
You are trying to find a solution to a problem that you are creating, stop creating the problem.
Hmm 🤔 what is the problem?
Work that out and you’ll have your answer 😉 We see it as performance issues, the need to perform.
Can you elaborate a little further please to help me understand that, what do you mean performance issues are my problem?
Of course we can, when you take action with self-judgment in your mind, there will be a level of resistance. When you take action in flow without even thinking about it, it happens, quickly, easily & satisfyingly, correct?
Yes
Ok, so, check in with your thoughts when you sit down with a ‘to do list’. What is going on? Who are you answering to? Who will be checking what you do or don’t do? Who is making the judgements?
More often than not, it is purely yourself. Ask yourself how can you loosen that thinking around judgment of what you are about to do or have done?
Not sure, how?
You allow yourself to have the mindset that everything that has happened needed to happen, and everything that needs to happen will happen, everything just is.
Huh?
Shift your energy into a space of non-judgement. A neutral zone.
So explain that in a practical sense. Can you give me an example.
Ok, what is something on your to do list that you are already judging yourself on for not having done it?
Ha ha, plenty of things, so many I can’t count.
Well there you go, already you are sitting in self-judgment. Let’s soften that a little with your thoughts.
Pick something that is long standing and yet probably not that difficult to do, you just haven’t got around to it and it is draining your energy.
Ok, to call a plumber to fix the dripping toilet.
Right, so when focusing on that task, give me the words running through your head in self judgment.
That’s easy! 'What’s taking you so long? You’re wasting water with the continuous drip. It’s not that hard. What’s wrong with you, why do you not just get it sorted. This is costing you money in water bills. The sound is annoying. This is bad for the environment' etc etc etc.
Ok. Let’s focus on shifting self-judgment on the issue.
Hmm that feels challenging for me. Can you assist me with some thoughts?
Well we are catching your thoughts and you are already in self judgment around what others will think when you post this, correct?
Yes absolutely 😬
We’ll start there, why do you care?
Understanding this situation further is assisting you and your energy and as you know when you bring yourself in alignment, others around you benefit too.
Spend a moment focusing on that aspect to rebalance your energy. Does that reduce the resistance about your worry about what other people think now?
Yes, OK, so this is about me and my alignment, and when I’m in alignment I can help others.
Exactly!
Ok, so I’m dropping all care about what others think. Now what? Just to re-iterate the problem we are focused on is self-judgment, not my mile long list of things to do, correct?
Yes, we are working with you on the energy of self-judgment, and that will impact what you get done in your day and how you do it, as that seems to be one of your foremost concerns as we connect at this point.
Yes it is.
Ok, so releasing self judgement comes from the realisation that there is no right or wrong there just is.
Hmm, I’m finding that concept hard to understand.
Yes, that is understandable.
Let’s go back to the fixing the toilet example.
The washer on the toilet flushing situation has deteriorated and is no longer working, correct?
Yes
Well that is a fact, yes? No judgment required around that fact, it just is, yes? You are not yelling at the washer and judging it for failing, correct, the failure of the washer is neutral, it has deteriorated.
Ok, next step, without judgment you know it needs to be fixed, for various reasons correct?
Yes
Ok another fact. Another aspect of the situation that can stay neutral. It needs to be fixed. Don’t jump ahead into how, or what, or who, just sit with the understanding that it needs to be fixed.
That’s a challenging exercise to do without jumping into the aspect of resolution, isn’t it?
Yes very very challenging.
Bear with us.
So in summary so far there is a leak in the toilet & it needs to be fixed. Don’t launch into the emotional drama of “ugh, what a pain now I need to call a plumber” etc etc etc.
Energetically sit with the facts of the leak that needs to be fixed for a few moments. Allow yourself to feel how that feels in your mind & body.
Really work on neutralizing those thoughts so you are not having a physical reaction to it, it just is.
You can do this by saying, “there’s a leak in the toilet, and it needs to be fixed” and taking a deep breath and continuing with the neutrality of saying, “this issue will be resolved accordingly”.
Does that feel more neutral?
Yes actually it does. It takes the pressure off and to be honest it already feels like it is done.
Although when I overthink it, I start questioning what does ‘accordingly’ mean? What do I have to do to make it happen or to resolve it?
Once again, we don’t want you to jump ahead, we want you to practice as much neutrality as possible in regards to your to do list tasks.
That way what happens is the shifting of the focus. You will now be able to focus away from what is not done and how good or bad you are because of not doing it, to sitting in a knowing that it will be resolved accordingly.
That may mean that task is never done or done immediately, but whatever the case it is done accordingly.
What do you mean by accordingly?
Accordingly holds the energy of ‘if it is meant to be done it will happen in alignment, at the right time’. It sits in that energetic space of trust & knowing.
So how do I know all the tasks will get done? I’m feeling that panic again that comes from too much to do with too little time to do it.
Ha ha, see, the focus is back on judgment. That will slow down the process of getting things done. Remember the goal is to focus your energy away from self-judgment into alignment.
And remind me again on how you suggest I do that?
We asked you to identify the facts about the situation, toilet broken & needs to be fixed. And then the energy of getting it fixed needs to become more neutral with the understanding that all tasks will be done accordingly. So reduce the fear, frustration & panic and sit in knowing one way or another the situation will be resolved accordingly.
So what is my next step then, I still feel a little cloudy?
The cloudiness in your mind will only dissipate when your perspective changes, and that comes from the neutralising approach of not judging yourself about when and how you are going to get things done.
It allows more flow in your actions which ultimately end up with actions being completed in the easiest way possible.
Ok, so in my mind right now I need to reset my thinking to say, ‘everything will be done accordingly’, that really needs to be my mantra. Again and again, ‘everything will be done accordingly’, deep breath, ‘everything will be done accordingly’.
I can feel that drops my anxiety a little but not fully. Should I be expecting a full drop in anxiety?
Anxiety energy comes in via judgement. If you want to drop the anxiety fully, you will need to drop the self-judgment fully.
Ok, so what is a tip to help drop self-judgment? That feels very tricky for me and I would imagine for most people if they were honest with themselves.
To be honest, when I sit here and close my eyes, that is really, really difficult to let go of, self-judgment.
Self-judgment comes from comparison. Comparison is an essential component for conscious awareness, it allows for us to compare ourselves to other objects or aspects to know that we exist.
The challenge is finding the right balance of comparison for self-awareness as opposed to self-judgement.
🤯
This is doing my head in but I will persist as I really feel like I need to understand this to move forward. It’s like I need this understanding to get out of a continuous loop of doing things but never feeling that I ever get enough done 😂!
Yes correct, the understanding of this will help you.
Ok, so in summary:
I can identify something I need to do, neutralize the energy around that task down to the facts which drops the self-judgment down and helps tasks to be completed/resolved ‘accordingly’ which means in a suitable way depending on the circumstances.
Then, if I still feel anxiety it is related to self-judgment.
So to ease my self-judgement I need to understand it relates to comparison of myself to others, and I need to find the balance between using comparison for self awareness rather than negative self-judgment.
I can feel I’m already how strong the tendency is to lean into the self judgement aspect of every thought.
Ok so please help me find that balance between self awareness & self-judgment.
That balance is different for everyone but the thought process is along the lines of ....
What aspects of me are important for me to feel safe? What makes me feel ok, acceptable to others, in fact what makes me feel really good about myself?
Ok, I know to feel safe I need to... oh interesting 🤔 when I feel into this issue I don’t feel safe or confident. I honestly feel very wobbly in my thoughts with dealing with this issue. Which seems absolutely crazy to some people I’m sure.
Yes well, there is a big aspect of feeling safe & comfortable involved in approaching certain tasks. The logical mind is saying, what is so unsafe about calling a plumber?
The irrational mind or subconscious mind is dreading the process of finding a trustworthy, good and not exorbitantly expensive plumber (as based on previous experience you have encountered the opposite many moons ago).
Let’s reach out for a thought that helps you to feel better about yourself in this situation. It is not about resolving the situation it is about you perceiving yourself as safe & comfortable in this situation.
So what can you think of?
Something along the lines of, well eventually I’ll get it fixed even if I have to google it and so it myself.
Well, yes that brings about a bit more comfort to you, but not a lot 😂.
How about saying something like...
'I know that I attract to me solutions to problems based on my energy. My energy is currently feeling a little unsafe so I’m not attracting a satisfying resolution to my situation. How can I support my energy to feel safe?'
Identify what you do know & what you know you can do. The feeling of safety comes from an internal knowing. The internal knowing comes from experience which has provided you with the belief of knowledge about yourself or your capabilities.
As you know the ability to take action starts with the thoughts, the awareness & re-focusing of your thoughts will assist to to achieve outcomes around set tasks.
So let’s give you an example of a thought that sits in self awareness but not self-judgment.
‘I am human like the other humans around me. We are all very individual & different not only from how we look but what we think & how we behave. That is ok. Everyone is entitled to be different everyone else, that is a very important factor in being human and I am human’
Now if you were throwing that thought more into the self-judgement side of the equation, the thinking would be more along the lines of:
‘I am human and they are all human but they are better humans than me. They are more beautiful, richer, happier, more intelligent, not grumpy, more capable and clever etc etc etc’
Feel your energy change when you read that.
I know I felt immediately deflated because I can relate to some of those statements, I might even believe some of them about myself.
Ok, good, awareness is good. Awareness allows for conscious change.
Ok so in the example with organising the fix of the toilet, how on earth does that relate back to this concept comparison and self-judgment or self awareness and safety?
Right, so because you have a choice in regards to your thoughts then you can choose the first approach or the second approach. The awareness approach or the self-judgment approach.
The self awareness approach is similar to what you did with the task, you neutralized the energy down to the specific facts, the toilet has a leak & it needs to be fixed, which allows for a task to be resolved accordingly. You’re also aware of some resistance in dealing with the task and the resistance is related so some aspect of not feeling safe or comfortable with taking action. And you now also know that although you don’t fully know how to fix the problem to ensure the issue is resolved accordingly, what you do know is that there are some skills you have that allow for you to take a step towards resolution, such as a phone number of a plumber, or access to Google so you could research how to fix the toilet. That is allowing for the energy of flow.
The self-judgement approach applies a level of resistance to the situation eg ‘I need to call a plumber to fix my toilet but I know he’ll be busy, I’m not that important so he’s probably going to take ages to get here, I’m feeling conscious if the cost so he’ll probably charge me a fortune’ etc etc etc. So in this approach it leaves you feeling back at square one, judging yourself and procrastinating on moving forward in any way possible to resolve the issue. The resistance in thought over-rides the ability to flow.
So, back to me summarising so I’ve got this clear…
Identify a task
Neutralise the components (stick to the facts)
As much as possible, drop the self-judgement on actioning the task
If anxiety still kicks in, remember it relates to self-judgement
To ease self-judgement know that it comes from comparison, but comparison is important.
Comparison can be on a scale of self-judgment to self awareness.
To move the balance of the comparison scale from self-judgment further towards self awareness, take into consideration what you do already know and your current skills rather than what you don’t.
And finally keep your focus on the positive aspects of what you do know and therefore based on that what steps you can take towards resolution accordingly (with flow)
Excellent, have fun with the process!